


not meant to be

by lilibughead



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Depressing, F/M, Heartbreak, References to Depression, bughead - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-28 21:53:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13912926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilibughead/pseuds/lilibughead
Summary: where bughead breaks up because of how worn down and depressed betty is.





	not meant to be

No, I don’t wanna meet you nowhere  
No, don’t want none of your time

Jughead Jones was walking through the grocery store thinking about what his life had become. It had been 3 months since he said goodbye to his first love for good. He told her to stop calling him. He just couldn’t take hearing her voice. Her broken, beautiful voice. It killed him. He had told her that she wasn’t special to him anymore. Maybe that was true or maybe he just didn’t want her to know that he truly cared for her and couldn’t bear to see her hurting. She was so depressed and worn down.

You really ain’t going away without a fight  
You can’t be reasoned with I’m done being polite  
Haven’t I made it obvious  
Haven’t I made it clear

No matter what he said she always continued to call him, pine after him, obsess over him. She just wouldn’t leave him alone. He needed her to leave him alone so he could stop thinking about her, stop hating himself for hurting her so bad. He hated that he hurt her. He hated it. 

When you had not touched me yet  
Oh take me back to the night we met

He wished that he could go back in time and do something different. Hurt her less. Make them last.

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind  
But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind

He wouldn’t forget her. Part of him wanted to but then again part of him wanted her to be with him again, so he couldn’t forget her, he just couldn’t. He told her this. That he wouldn’t forget her. Because it was oh so true. No matter how much he wanted to forget the image of her pale and weak, being whisked away by an ambulance, he couldn’t. He would remember. He would also remember all the happy times. He didn’t want to forget those. Giving her little compliments and watching her beam. It made his broken little heart feel a little fuller just thinking about it. His heart was really broken. He had been through a lot. He knew he had to say goodbye to Betty, for she represented the past, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t hard. Because while it was getting rid of painful memories it also meant getting rid of the good ones and the special girl in his life named Betty Cooper.

Every breath that I’ve been taking since you left feels like a waste on me.

He regrets cutting her out now because now she’s hurting more than before. Everywhere he goes he sees her. On social media, hanging out with friends around town, everywhere. Her eyes look tired and pained, and she looks absolutely exhausted. She of course paints on that smile like she always used to to hide how much pain she’s in. But he can tell that she’s splintering. She had told him that her parents didn’t treat her well, he knows that all her friends left her, and of course now he was gone. And when he picks up the phone every once in a while when she calls, he can hear the pain in her voice. She leaves aching voicemails that bring him to tears because it’s not working. Cutting her out isn’t working. It’s making everything worse. She’s hurting because she can’t let him go and he’s hurting because she can’t let him go. It’s a horrible scenario that he wants to end. 

Don’t wanna close my eyes  
I don’t wanna fall asleep  
Cause I’d miss you babe  
And I don’t wanna miss a thing

He got his wish. It’s all over technically. She doesn’t call anymore. He blocked all her friends. She blocked all of his. They deleted all the pictures. As far as they know about each other at least. The truth is…a picture of them smiling wide still remains in Betty’s notebook and on his desk. He got what he wanted, so why doesn’t he feel any better? He doesn’t see her in pain anymore but now he has to deal with not seeing her at all. Not even the occasional smile. 

I took for granted, all the times  
That I thought would last somehow  
I hear the laughter and taste the tears  
But I can't get near you now

He’s walking through the grocery store and suddenly he sees something that sends him tumbling. It’s Betty. Betty Cooper. Standing right in front of him. But something is terribly wrong. She looks like she’s dying. Her body is thin as a rail, painfully small. Her gorgeous blond hair is longer but now it is thin and falling out. Her face, beautiful face, is pale and weak. He wants to run, he wants to scream, he wants to cry, but all he does is stare. She hasn’t seen him yet. She’s busy looking at the vitamin shelf. He starts to lose it and runs. He runs until he can’t run anymore. He runs until he’s home, locked in his room, fighting back tears. What has he done. He’s destroyed her.

I cannot go to the ocean  
I cannot drive the streets at night  
I cannot wake up in the morning  
Without you on my mind

The memories flash through his mind. Asking her to the movies, taking her on dates, telling her she was great, and then telling him that she used to be special to him but not anymore. NOT ANYMORE. That must have been what broke her. He always did something to break her. He just wanted to be happy and wanted her to be okay. He didn’t know that it would never happen, it would never work out like that. She was still special to him, he just can’t handle seeing her in pain. Right? That’s all he ever caused her - pain. So why wasn’t convincing her to forget about him working. He was killing Betty Cooper and he was losing himself.

Even when I don’t want to  
I still love you

Here he was falling apart over Betty Cooper, the girl he thought he was over. But part of him still longed for her in any way he could have her. He couldn’t lose her. Without her nothing was the same. In some ways it was better but she was always in the back of his mind. Haunting him. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. Not at all.

I don’t know what I’m supposed to do  
Haunted by the ghost of you

God what was she doing to him. For months he had just wanted to push it all away. His feelings, the way she made him feel when she cried, the way she made him feel when she smiled and laughed. The army of feelings that marched over him daily. He didn’t feel them as often so he thought he was getting better but GOD what if she dies. What if he was the one that killed her. He heard all her voicemails, he knows how pained she is. So why can’t he do anything about it. He’s so selfish. But he’s never going to be able to fix it. So he doesn’t. 

You touched my heart, you touched my soul  
You changed my life and all my goals

He never does call her again. She gets better. She recovers as much as she can but the scars on her arms remain. They reunite briefly in college but it’s never the same. How could it be after all the pain they’d caused each other. The truth is, they still both look at the pictures of each other. They both saved a copy. How could they not. They were each others’ first loves.

Oceans apart day after day  
And I slowly go insane  
I hear your voice on the line  
But it doesn't stop the pain  
Wherever you go, whatever you do  
I will be right here waiting for you  
Whatever it takes, or how my heart breaks  
I will be right here waiting for you


End file.
